“Sir, there is nothing more you can do here. Your wife is gone. But here is what you can do," the nurse said, "I want you to go home and gather up all of your wife's dirty clothes. I want you to put them in a plastic trash bag and tie it up tightly."
The first time I heard this story from a doctor colleague I paused, anxiously waiting for the rest of the narrative to be shared.
Read MoreMy first art class I was a freshman in high school. I loved my art teacher - also a first. A first crush on an older man - Mr. Brock. He taught be about Zen (claimed he was a Zen Catholic), Hegel's Theory of Dialectics, and drawing. Not just any drawing - beginner's mind drawing. I didn't realize that until I was much older and more immersed in Buddhism and practicing Zen. Those moments in his class 33 years later are as clear and true as if they happened yesterday.
Read MoreWhen I volunteered to write for this novena, I specifically asked to be on the back end…during one of the nine-day gratitude novenas. See, gratitude is my comfortable place. Even in the midst of so much that breaks my heart in our world today, I am, on most days, equally overwhelmed by the good (like my deep appreciation for this community). Gratitude is a response to something we have received or witnessed or experienced. It is in relation to something else. Gratitude is dialogical.
Read MoreThe heavy wood door slams. "Mom, I'm home." All boy. Your ten year old self comes barreling into the kitchen. Fair skin flushed and spiky blond hair stands on tiptoe from repeatedly wiping the sweat from your forehead. The afternoon recess still radiates from your skin. Your heat touches me before I take you in my arms and squeeze. My air conditioned epidermis melts into your hot, damp flesh.
Leaning in, my nose kisses the top of your head. I breathe in - sunscreen, asphalt, sweat....and.... there it is ... the scent I search for. I settle in for as long as you will let me reveling in the aroma of you. What I call your baby smell grows fainter every year, but it's still there. It's concentrated where one of your soft spots used to be.
Read MoreTraveling one summer in Istanbul, I had just left Hagia Sophia and was headed back to my hotel. I could feel someone's eyes on me. A blond American woman in Turkey quickly gets accustomed to the probing eyes of men. When I turned around, I met the gaze of a woman in a black burqa. Every part of her veiled, except her eyes. And she had the most beautiful ones I'd ever seen. Huge. Almond shaped. Dark as a starless night. Time expanded. I stood completely still, trying to return her gaze, it's intensity consuming.
Read MoreWe invite you to explore how to intentionally live this season in body, mind, and spirit as we share an evening of gentle yoga, thoughtful reflection, and sacred ritual.
Friends, we are intentionally shifting this from a larger venue (which charged a fee) to a more intimate space at the home of Jen Wewers (where we can have fire and more creativity!)
Read MoreAfter college, I read Mary Catherine Bateson's Composing a Life. Even then I knew I wasn't destined for a linear career trajectory. My parent's hope for that smooth path died as soon as I came home from my second year of college and announced I was majoring in Religion. My first generation college student/accountant father was especially challenged by my choice.
Read MoreDear Friends and Family,
Max has graduated high school! I still can’t believe it. So many of you have had a hand in raising this boy.
For those of you who were with me during the early and sometimes dark periods of new motherhood, thank you.
You, who joined me at Tompkins Square Park and celebrated birthdays of my bright blond boy in very small NYC spaces, thank you.
Read MoreWhile brushing my teeth in my normal mad dash to get my son to school and me to work in the morning, a small black spider walked out of the drain and tried to jump out of the bathroom sink. Instinctively, I pushed her down and let the water take her back down the drain.
Right before the water swirled her back into the hole from which she came, I thought "Shoot, is this a sign?" I grabbed by Medicine Cards book to look up the meaning of pulling the Spider card. I searched through the deck until I found the right card. Spider medicine represents our creativity. "Great!" I thought, "I just flushed my creativity down the drain." I also took a look at the Pueblo story about the creation of the world. My hunch was right. Spider Woman. She wove all of creation from the web of her thoughts.
The second day of our Obie reunion we decided to hike to see Marymere Falls in Olympic National Park. It was a short walk and close to the Lake Crescent Lodge where we were staying. It started off simple enough. For a prairie girl, the trees were the tallest I have ever seen. Green everywhere.
Read MoreWhat a great teacher fear can be. My first night at the Ojo Cabin I opted to potentially wet the bed instead of going to the outhouse in the middle of the night. My fear of creatures, combined with being alone, made my sense of adventure wane after sunset. For those who are curious? I didn't wet the futon. The next morning
Read MoreDave, my host at my first night’s lodging in Ojo Caliente, guided me from the moment I crossed into New Mexico. He had warned GPS was unreliable and with a pretty big mountain thunderstorm underway and after 13 hours of driving I was one tired traveler and not surprisingly, got lost.
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